Bella Goes To A Prom With Carlisle
by NoThaTerrible
Summary: Bella and Carlisle are all set to go to prom tonight, when suddenly Edward appears to ruin their night.
1. Edward Cancels Prom

**This is my first Twilight fanfic cuz Twilight is so cool, right? Anyways, this story might taste better with some applejuice so go pick some apples from the apple tree in your backyard, squeeze the juice into a cup and enjoy. While you're enjoying, read this story and enjoy at the same time. It's, like, double enjoyment. Okay, thanks. No problem. See ya later. All right. Bye. Hello. Mom?**

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Hello. I am Bella Swan and I am 13 and I am putting on makeup so I can go to the prom with Carlisle tonight. Me and Carlisle are so horny and we can't wait to get our boogy down on the dance floor tonight. I was applying mascara on my face to make myself look pretty, when suddenly Edward walked in.

"Bella, you cannot go to prom tonight with my fader."

"Why not?"

"Because prom is closed."

"But who closed prom?"

"I CLOSED PROM!"

But, why did Edward close prom? I was so excited to go to prom with Carlisle. I got my makeup on and everything. I even bought a nice little blouse from Walmart this morning. Now what was I going to do?

"Edward, why did you close prom tonight? Aren't you going too?"

"I was, but my date ditched me at last minute."

"Jacob left you? Why?"

"He said I wasn't manly enough for him so he picked new date."

"Who's his new date?"

"Jasper. I saw them kissing under tree earlier."

"Oh no! Jasper and Jacob are kissing?"

"Yeah, so I went to prom early and closed it so now no one go."

Just then, Carlisle walked into room. He was wearing this cute little tank-top I bought him last weekend. It was pokadot colored and sexy. It looked so cute on him.

"Ready to go, Bella?"

"Edward closed prom so now we can't go anymore."

"What? Why he do that?"

"Because Jacob dumped him and is going out with Jasper now."

"Edward, is true?"

"Yes is true Jacob left me and now I have no date so I close prom."

"But what we going to do now?"

"Hmm…I have idea!"

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**Chapter 2 coming REAL soon, k?**


	2. Jacob Kisses Under A Tree

**This scene is taking place immediately after Chapter 1 ended. If you're confused about where to start reading this story, start with Chapter 2, it's much bedder than Chapter 1, kay?**

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Meanwhile, in another part of Forks.

"Mmm, Jasper," said Jacob, "You kiss so good. Mmm…"

"Mmm, Jacob," said Jasper, "Thanks, but you kiss much bedder."

"You kiss sooooo much better than Edward. His pointy teeth always cut my mouth when I kissed him."

"Kay, can not talk about ex-lover please?"

"Sorry, Jasper. Now, where were we? Mmm…"

"HOLD RIGHT THER!" cried a voice from the shadows.

"Jacob what you doing with him!"

"James?" said Jacob, getting off Jasper's body, "What are you doing here this late?"

"Edward send me to check on you. I see you still with Jasper."

"Hey, now," said Jacob, pulling up his pants, "Me and Edward are soooooooo over. So tell him to leave me alone. Me and Jasper are going to go to prom now."

"Edward cancel prom, you too late," said Jasper laughing.

"What?" cried Jasper, rising from the ground, "Where Edward? I kill him for doing this to me and lover!"

"He talking with Carlisle and Bella now."

"Jacob, honey," said Jasper, "I see you at prom later. I promise, kay?"

Jacob nodded his head and Jasper ran off really really fast. Like, he ran so fast that you couldn't even see him running, fast.

"Mmm, Jacob, what I going to do with you?" said James, shaking his head.

Just then, Jacob pulled out a gun from his pants and aimed it at James' head.

"I'm going to kill you, James, for all the pain you caused me!"

"What pain I cause?"

"Remember when you broke up with me last weekend? I was so sad, but Edward was there to comfort me. That's how we became boyfriends."

"Then why you leave Edward if you love him much?"

"I just wanted to make him jealous! I was hoping he'd come back to me! I never thought it would come to THIS though."

"Jacob, you think you kill vampire with water gun? Don't make laugh. Haha."

"SHUT UP! I had it with you vampire freaks! I'm taking you all down tonight!"

POW! Jacob shot James in the head and killed him instantly.

"Eddy, you're next!" said Jacob, turning into a dog and running towards Edward's house.

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**What's gonna happen next! The plot thickens! Up!**


	3. The Climactic Conference

Jasper kicks in the door to his house and runs up the stairs to Rosalie's bedroom. There, he found Carlisle and Bella kissing.

"Rargh! Where Edward?" roared Jasper.

"Edward behind you! Look out!" cried Carlisle.

Jasper turned around and saw Edward running towards him. Edward and Jasper then fought each other.

"Why you cancel prom and not tell me?" said Jasper, biting Edward's neck.

"Because stole Jacob from me!"

"He came to me on own! I no force him!"

"What?" said Edward, backing away, "Is true?"

"Yes, is true," said Jasper, panting.

"I-I sorry then," said Edward, hugging Jasper.

But then…

"Woof! I am Jacob as a doggy, and I am going to kill you Edward!" said Jacob, running to face Edward.

"Oh no, Jacob, you cannot do this?" questioned Bella.

"I have to, Bella, to retain my dignity," said Jacob, leaking some juice on the carpet, "This ends NOW, Eddy!"


	4. The StandOff

Jacob bit Edward's leg and Edward bit Jacob's ear, and the two wrestled with each other for, like, 18 minutes. Then, Bella had enough.

"Enough, guys?" said Bella, standing up, "Stop fighting, kay? Aren't we friends?"

"Bella right, guys. No fight no more," said Carlisle, stepping in to break up the fight.

"But Edward has to pay for what he did to me!" said Jacob.

"What I do? All I ever do was love, but you leave for Jasper no reason. You should pay for what did me!" said Edward, crying.

"I-I'm sorry, Eddy, I love you so much," said Jacob, turning back into a human, "Do you still wanna go to the prom with me?"

"I do, but it too late. I close prom," said Edward.

"That okay, we hold prom here!" said Carlisle, jumping for joy.

"Good idea, baby?" said Bella, kissing Carlisle's lifeless lips.

"Yay, everyone happy but me now," said Jasper, frowning.

Just then, Arnold Schwarzenegger busted into the room.

"Jaspah, come wit me if you wahnt to live," said Arnold, pumping his shotgun.

"Oh, Arny! You came!" said Jasper, jumping into Arnold's arms, "Wanna dance?"

"Hell ya," said Arnold, starting to do The Twist with Jasper.

"Everyone turn happy in end, yay!" said Carlisle.

Just then, the song 'The Time of My Life' from Dirty Dancing started playing.

"OMG, our song, Carlisle?" said Bella, staring into Carlisle's deep-red eyes.

Carlisle lifted Bella into the air and the credits then rolled.

THE END


End file.
